December 19, 2016

A man.

I don't know what I want.

Would I want somebody who dotes on me and would never leave my side? Or would I want somebody who lets me have breathing space and lets me do whatever I want?

Would I like a man who has a different idea and perspective on the world or would I be much more comfortable having someone who shares the same views as I have? Or will our disparate worlds of thought evolve together and melt into one? Or will we grow apart and the same views we had before diverge into different paths? 

Would I be content with someone who never backs down during a fight or with someone who compromises? Is it better to droll out our flaws instead of keeping them in? 

Whoever I am with (or not with) in the future, I just hope I would've done my best to keep him. I would fight for what is right, but would back down if I know it is wrong.


I never got around to publishing this and the post before this one, and I'm almost always surprised when I re-read the things that I write. You know that sensation when you sleep and you unconsciously put your entire body weight on your arm, and your arm never feels like your arm? That's the sensation every time I read writings I've made in the past.

It's like a window into my psyche at that point of time; most of the time it illuminates me more than anything. Who knew past me could teach me this much?

Cik Kiah

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